Are You a Hot Mess?

Adrie and Sammie at a skating rink in Midway.

I guess I need to take a class on current language usage of 14-20 year olds. I consider myself to be a good communicator, able to carrying on a conversation with most people of all ages. I am, however, having difficulty recently understanding what anyone is saying me in the above-mentioned age category. Am I old? Apparently so.

I'm not sure but I'm a HOT MESS, SBI, maybe some day I'll be LEGIT.

My friend Kirsten is on a cruise, leaving her home full of 12-18 year olds who probably communicate in teenager. Yep, she left behind a whole group of these language-impaired people. She is probably engaging in real conversation with real words, words that you can find in the English Dictionary. Words like, I'd like another one of those chocolate tortes, please, and can you feel that breeze, and the sun feels amazing, I think I'll lay here for a few more hours. Kirsten, I wish I were with you because I'm just a hot mess, and it has nothing to do with the sunshine you're soaking up right now.

HOT MESS. As far as I can tell, someone who is hot mess is messed up. If they are indeed "hot," as in attractive or desirable physically, then they are an attractive disaster. If they are a hot mess meaning hot as in strong or intense, then it means those people are incredibly messed up, good-looking or not.

Therefore, when I heard Taylor say yesterday, "That girl is a HOT MESS!" I assume she means that someone is really screwed up. Given that this girl she was referring to was attractive but ditzy, then I deduce that someone who is a hot mess is physically desirable but messed up. So if someone calls you a HOT MESS then you should take it as a compliment partially because at least you have the attractive part down, right?

Someone tell me if I'm on the right track here. Hey, maybe I want to be a hot mess.

OK, on to SBI. My Dad used say, "That guy's a real SOB!" so I know what THAT means. But when teenage language involves just the letters, then you have to ask. I humbled myself and said, "What?" Apparently SBI means Sorry About It. Kind of like too bad, so sad, your tough luck, get over it, deal with it.

It's a way to say that you acknowledge what happened to a person. If you say SBO, then you're telling someone that you understand that something happened to them, and so you respond with such a caring comment that you can't even say the words? This comment is so sympathetic, you might as well tell the person YBL (You Big Loser) because that is the amount of caring that comment invokes. Or how about INL (I'm Not Listening?) Hey teenagers, add these to your repertoire. Good ideas, don't you think.

OK, now LEGIT. I think I get this one. I can figure this one out on my own!!! I kind of like this one. Probably because I was smart enough to figure it out. It's short for legitimate so I had a bit of a hint.

If you are LEGIT you are with it, cool, skilled, smart, on the right track, doing something good, rocking the world, having a great time, doing your best, getting stuff done, and in every way making good strides in your life.

"You're so LEGIT!" is a compliment. We want to be LEGIT because that means we're doing good things and people have noticed it. I'd much rather be LEGIT than SBI or a HOT MESS for that matter.

Here are some things that are LEGIT with my world.

Nathan is such a LEGIT basketball player.

My weekend was so LEGIT because Darren and I got away for a night and had a great time.

Alyssa is LEGIT because she got into BYU!

Sammie is LEGIT because she cut up 12 pounds of grapes for me yesterday. Thanks Sam!

So, go on out and do something LEGIT but try not to make a HOT MESS out of it. If you do, SBI!