If you can't say somethin' nice . . .

"If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." That's what Thumper tells his Mama when he's scolded for saying mean things in Bambi. I don't know if I can say anything nice right now, but I'll try to make Thumper proud.

But today already has a bunch of strikes against it. It's Monday, it's cub scouts, and it's snowing! I miss my Dad who's been gone 12 years, I don't want to stand in the freezing cold at recess, and I think I have hayfever which is making me tired and lazy. I have never had a touch of it before. I am not feeling very charitable thoughts toward anyone, and this makes me feel even worse.

It looked like a blizzard this morning for about an hour and a half. It's April 7 people! Can someone just put me under until it's really spring? When I wake up, I promise I'll be nice. I'm thinking of places I can move to when my kids are older so I don't have to deal with January-March. I think Darren's ready to ship me off a lot sooner. Like maybe any minute.

We're going to NY in a week. The change of scenery will do everyone good. Even if it's cold and rainy in NY, I still won't be cold and miserable here.

Even though I did four loads of laundry on Friday, there are six more today. How is that possible? I had every speck of it done of Friday, and now there are piles again. I guess until people stop wearing clothes this will be my lot in life. Maybe I'll have less in summer because people wear less clothing, and it's lighter. Maybe. Who knows.

I can swim 500 meters in 20 minutes! This is pathetic! My daughter can swim it in 6 minutes, 14 minutes ahead of me. I keep telling myself, she's 25 years younger and she's been swimming competitively for years. I'm just an overweight 41-year old with no training and no endurance who is attempting the impossible. Sorry Thumper. . . .do I have to be positive, too?

I'll write again tomorrow when I'm feeling better.

Friday Night Fog

Why am I always so exhausted on Fridays? Was it the classroom full of 25 first graders that did me in? Maybe. I just want to curl up and sleep! But I'm not gonna. Here's what's going on in my world:

I actually swam 500 meters today (mostly with my butt up so the lower part of my body was NOT dragging) and so I'm feeling better about this whole mini trialthalon thing. I could feel it when I got into a rhythm and my feet kicked as well and I was actually moving a bit faster than a snail's pace. I do backstroke when I'm too tired to keep doing freestyle. This is a more restful stroke but dangerous! There you are la-la-la-la-la looking at the lovely ceiling acrchitecture and thinking about how you need to file your fingernails, when BONK! you reach the wall. Hello wall. Were those stars on the ceiling before?

Soccer started. I froze to death watching Nathan's game on Wednesday night. Spring soccer weather is always so volatile. You have to dress like you're heading for an Arctic expedition just to get through the game. He scored two goals! Way to play Nate!

Adrie made it to school on time once this week! Congrats Adrie! Way to be! She's slacking off since the term is over. But I must admit, she about killed herself off making up all her unexcused absenses last week. And now she's so tired she's just creating MORE unexcused absences. Such is the life of a high school student who goes to a school where the attendance policy borders on fascism.

Leah was darling in her clogging performance last night, but I kept wondering why did they put her on the back row and the tall girls on the front row? I couldn't see my own kid. Just wondering.

At my writers' meeting I learned all about character development and now feel inspired to use some of the techniques in my book that keeps calling out to me. Thanks, Clint Johnson, for an inspiring evening.

My book club this week was a riot. We read the young adult novel "Life as We Knew it" about a family that must live through the earth's tempestuous climate changes when a meteor crashes into the moon. They live for months on food storage with not heat or electricity. We discussed how we all felt like hoarding food after reading this novel. Nancy pointed out that she had flenty of food storage in her hips, and then that got us all talking about our own personal food storage. I said I had at least six months around my middle! It was a riot. We laughed and laughed.

Now on to more sobering things. Earlier this week I posted a very negative blog about Iraq and President Bush. I decided to delete it, but still would like to say a few things without going on a tirade (I hope this is possible). Four-thousand American soliders are dead as we enter the fifth year of the war. President Bush stands up and speaks about this saying that these heroic soldiers will not die in vain and this makes me incredibly angry and sad and the needless loss of life. I am disgusted at him and his policies and can only hope that some day he'll be humbled enough to realize what he's done. Check out http://nationalpriorities.org/costofwar_home to see the damaging affects of this very reckless decision by a very arrogant man.

I am calmed a bit when I think of going to London next summer. Here is a picture of the London Centre where we will live with students and other faculty families. Start saving up to come and visit us 'cause in case you didn't know, the dollar is not just weak, it's gasping for breath! Isn't this just the coolest?

Smiles

Adrienne and Samantha are both out of braces now. Both have beautiful smiles that light up their faces and my life. Sammie's big day was last Wednesday when all of the sudden she was amazingly transformed from cute girl to gorgeous girl when those brackets came off.

The refreshing thing is about Sammie is that her appearance was the last thing she cared about. I don't think she hardly looked in the mirror. Instead she was focused on NOT going to school that day and devouring the huge bag of "no-no treats" (sticky candy, etc) that the orthodontist had given her as a a congratulations for getting her braces off. Then she came to the elementary school with me where she played kick ball with the sixth graders and swung on the swings. She did make me take her to Hogi Yogi after recess, but she was mostly happy as a clam hanging out at home.

So we have some light up my life (think Debby Boone--I sang that song until there were tears streaming down my face in the 70s) smiles going on around here. I'm sure my other two kids will have their own turn to get straight teeth in a few years or so. Having braces seems so much of the norm right now for kids. I know it is because all my friends who didn't get them or did get them and they didn't work are NOW getting them in their 30s and 40s. I think my aunt in her early 50s is a metal mouth tinsel teeth.

I doubt if anyone calls anyone metal mouth or tinsel teeth or brace face (thanks Mark) anymore since a good majority of kids and some adults too, have braces on. If some kid was so bold as to shout out "Hey tinsel teeth" in the hallway at the junior high, perhaps 40 kids might turn and glare at the bare-toothed kid and he'd feel like a total outcast.

My babish friend Alison--check out the link to her blog--just got hers off. Wow! My equally babish sister-in-law Cathy got hers off a while ago--Yowza! It's amazing that these two women could get any more beautiful, but they did!

All I can say is getting braces on and off these days is sweet compared to what I "went through" in the early 80s. Here are the top ten reasons why it's totally better today:

1. If you brush well, you get to put your name in a drawing to win ipods and mall gift certificates or a flat screen TV (well maybe not that last one).
2. Your orthodontist wears gloves so you can't feel his freezing cold hands and smell their metally smell from working on the previous kid.
3. You can watch TV or any DVD of your choice while you're getting worked on. I would have killed for Brady Bunch or Gilligan's Island or anything while I was sitting there with Dr. Ammott.
4. Orthodontists stand behind you instead of next to you now so you don't have to hear their growling stomachs at a lunchtime appointment.
5. Your Mom has to check you out of school to go to the ortho because there's not way you can walk a few blocks by yourself in this day and age.
6. You get to choose which color you want laced through your brackets and change them every month! For example, you can be green in March for St. Paddy's Day and orange for Halloween, pink for Valentine's Day. All I had was silver. And those bands went all the way around my teeth. Today they're called brackets and they're only adhered to the front somehow.
7. They don't pull teeth anymore, they make space for them. Having four teeth pulled was awful!
8. Who's ever heard of a head gear anymore--the implement that said "extreme loser" if you dared wear it to school.
9. If you want to pay more, your braces can be invisible.
10. Orthodontists are in it for the business. You're going to go to the one who tells you you're absolutely beautiful, and with that smile we're going to create, you can stop traffic. You won't choose your orthodontist just because your next door neighbor is his assistant/secretary!

Kids are spoiled rotten these days!

I Should Have Known

I should have known better about a couple of things before I did them. Have you ever had those thoughts that you shouldn't do something--right as you're doing it? And you keep doing it anyway? Full steam ahead, despite the consequences. Some turn out OK, others stay with you, no matter how hard you try to shed their memories.

I should have known that taking Nathan and his best friend Kyle into a restaurant on his birthday would only end in chaos and embarassment. They are incapable of eating together without turning in to a pair of hiccuping hyenas. Add Sammie to the mix--who eggs them on mercilessly--and Adrie to the the mix-who sullenly glares at me for putting her through such anguish--and you've got an "I should have known" situation. When we drove home, Nathan was still hiccuping, Sammie was still laughing hysterically, and Adrie was texting every friend in her address book to report on how she's being subjected to the horror that is her family.

I should have known that if Adrie got a Facebook account that she would get to chat with MY friend more than me and that they would talk about things and not tell me about them. And that if I happened to look over her shoulder to see what was going on with MY friend, that I would be given a nasty teenager look and told to respect her privacy.

I should have known that when I took the test to find out which Jane Austen character I most likely resemble that I would be Maryanne Dashwood. I should have known that I didn't need to take the test, that I am like her her every way shape and form, even if I wish it were otherwise. And that even if I wish I was more like Elinor Dashwood--level headed, calm and rational--I can't turn myself into someone I'm not.

I should have known that if I got onto the Coldwater Creek website where 400 items are $14.99 or less that I would end up buying several of those items. I should know that I have a weakness for this website, and to avoid it like a classroom of coughing, sneezing, nose-blowing first graders.

I should known that if I bought Darren some clothes that he really needs--not from Coldwater Creek, of course--that he would not want them until he decides that all his other clothes are threadbare and unsuitable for someone in his position. He may not decide this until the summer, when he doesn't really need work clothes anyway.

I should have known that the day Nathan starts soccer practice is not the day to have him try on his soccer cleats to determine that they are so tight he can barely move. I should have known that suggesting he just play with squished toes for one practice would not be acceptable since don't I know that he's been waiting for this day since last October?

I should have known that trying to play that hymn in Relief Society on Sunday after I told the conductor I couldn't play it would result in humiliation and anger. From now on I will only consent to play songs that I know when I am asked to play them with two minutes' notice. I will not pretned that I can just play anything like I used to.

I knew better.

For Some Odd Reason

For some odd reason the kids are off school today, and so I'm off work today. Nathan wants to flood the sandbox with the hose (a July activity) and I told him it was only two degrees above freezing and that the hose wasn't even hooked up. "But Mom, it's burning!" he replied. I don't get how kids' temperatures are completely out of whack with reality.

We celebrated Nathan's 10th birthday this past week. He is such a cute boy. His party was inviting a bunch of boys to the church to play indoor sports games. The highlight was midnight football, where you try to scrimmage the football across the floor on your hands and knees, and in the dark. For some odd reason, the boys took to this game like a bee to honey. They loved it so much, in fact, they wanted to play it again on Saturday. They were having so much fun that I had to bribe them into opening presents and eating cake. Who would have thought.

For some odd reason, I have loved being an aide in the autism class. People think it sounds incredibly hard, and sometimes it is, but mostly it's just great. I had no idea I would enjoy it so much. It was sad this week when the normal teacher came back from her maternity leave and I didn't have to get up and go to work at 8. But it was OK, too. There are a million things I need to do around the house. Not that I want to do them . . .

For some odd reason, my family has stumbled upon an amazing opportunity. We found out last week that Darren will be directing the London study abroad program for BYU in summer 2009, and that our entire family will get to live in London for two months playing and doing touristy things. And since it is in the summer, there is no school to worry about for the kids, just play. We will live in a flat in downtown London and there is a cook who makes meals for the families and students. I cannnot believe our good fortune. My friend Gina told me she didn't want to hear one complaint about anything come out of my mouth for the next five years! I don't know how to express how excited we all are.

For some odd reason, I'm learning to swim for my mini triathalon. I think I will be able to do the swimming part. I don't know about the jogging part, but I'm pretty sure I can swim and bike. Thanks to Adrienne who is training us old fogies not to drown while keeping our butts up in the air and our feet kicking straight. We could not do it without her. We owe her.

Spring is thinking about coming. It decides to comes for a few days, then changes its mind. While it was here on Saturday, Darren and I cleaned out all the flower beds, raked the yard, and got ready to plant peas. On Sunday morning we awoke to a dusting of snow, a sign, perhaps that winter was tired of dumping inches on us and was tapering off a bit. It has been a cold, snowy winter.

For some odd reason and a strike of good luck for me, my sister is moving back to Utah. I can't wait to have her here, close enough to see on Sunday afternoons, close enough to share holidays together. We will all spend some insane days together at the cabin this summer, where cousins will get to be cousins and aunts and uncles can be aunts and uncles. Grandma can be Grandma, and turn off her hearing aid when she can't stand the chaos anymore. We will take walks, play in the lake, pick wildflowers and maybe huckleberries. We will play games, get sunburned, skip rocks, and take the canoe out. Maybe we will see a moose near the cabin when we're sitting on the porch sipping hot cocoa. Uncle Mike will take us fishing, Uncle Darren will take us hiking, and Uncle Mark will take us out in the boat.

For some odd reason, I get to be a part of all of this.

A Foray into Politics

I can't believe I've been blogging a year now and have never talked politics. Well, let's face it, up until a month or two ago, there were way more candidates than you could ever get to know (or want to know). Now it's getting down to the wire. Of course in elections, the wire happens to be nine months away. But we've narrowed the playing field considerably.

My husband thinks my opinions on politics are WAY to vocal and strong. Are they too vocal if they're written in words? Tee hee. Since he never reads this blog, I'll move right along with my political agenda.

I am one of five registered Democrats in Utah County. But if I didn't live in Utah where my political party is even less than the minority, AND where I am desperately trying NOT to be like everyone else, I would still like Barack Obama way more than Hillary, McCain and Huckabee. Face it, the guy is infinitely likeable.

Darren always laughs at me because I am so superficial when it comes to picking a president. Somehow I know immediately if I like them. Instinctively I can look at them and know if I can stand to look and listen to them for four years or, heaven forbid, eight years. In 1992, I couldn't stand the thought of listening to the George Bush senior's nasal tone for four more years. I immediately took to Clinton. There was something about him. Yes, admittedly he has/had many faults, but you've got to admit he was bright, empathetic, and enjoyable to watch. And I liked his hands, of all juvenille reasons to like someone.

In the 2000 presidential election, I faced a big problem. I didn't like Gore the know it all or Bush the know nothing, but I voted for Gore--one of the five votes he got in this county. Neither one of these candidates did anything for me. I couldn't throw my heart into either one. The same thing happened in 2004. There was our incumbant president who was still so painful to listen to, and John Kerry, who always made me feel like crying when I looked at his face. He looked like he was perpetually in a grumpy mood. Nevertheless, I and four other people in this county voted for him. He lost. I was not too upset. George W. hadn't done TOO much damage . . . yet.

Now comes Hillary. She's like a rerun in a bad nightmare despite her obvious intelligence and expertise on many topics. McCain is so unpleasant to watch and listen to, I just can't vote for him, no matter his experience in foreign policy and other things. Huckabee should not even be in the race as far as a lot of people are concerened. I hope he becomes a non-issue soon.

Then there's Obama. Woudln't he be be so pleasant to look at and listen to for the next four years? I don't want to get to the point with our new president that I was with George W. after about a year. I would cringe every time he said something. I was embarassed for him, embarassed for our country that he seemed to have such a lack of understanding of the most basic issues. I began to turn him off when he was on the radio or TV. I didn't want to do this. He was the president and I wanted to listen to him. Now I'm worried that it's going to be the same thing with McCain and not for his lack of intelligence. For his lack of appeal.

I like Obama. I like that he's black. I like that his voice is deep and rich and melodic, not choppy nasal-sounding like our current president. I like that his smile really lights up his face. I get the impression that he smiles a lot, and not just for the cameras. I know he's young and inexperienced. That worries me a bit. The whole not putting his hand over his heart thing was a bit troubling. But he is optimistic, energetic and exciting to listen to.

Having a smiling black man be president of this country would be send a powerful message of reconcilation to those countries that we have alienated and offended over the past eight years.

I will vote for him.

Mahem in February

Sammie and Nathan are rolling around on the floor acting like drunk gorillas. They're making more noise that an entire ape family being attacked. I'm ready to rip out their vocal chords and strangle them. Why choose to write now? If not now, when? I see that it has been a couple of weeks, and I'm long overdue, no matter the noise level in the house. You'd think they could at least go to another room. But they find great joy is seeing me writhe and squirm in frustration.

Life is good. Valentine's week at school is fun. There are lots of treats and love notes and fun activities. I'm helping with my own class party, and helping with Leah's class party. And I just got a desperate call from one of the moms in Nathan's class saying that she can't get a hold of any of the moms who were supposed to help her. Could I please help her? So it looks like I will be going to three Valentine class parties on Thursday. Life couldn't get any sweeter, in my opinion.

Kids say the darndest things. I was doing reading with one of the kids and he put his head down on the desk and sighed. I said, "What's wrong, Gavyn?" He answered, pouting, "This school just makes me so tired!" He looked surprised when I started laughing.

After we gave a lecture last week about no fingers in noses and using tissues, the class was very good about running to get tissues instead of wiping their noses across their sleeves. But they also made comments while throwing their tissues away. "Cool! It's all glittery and sparkly!" one of them said as he tossed it into the trash. And "That one's heavy!" 'Tis the season of drippy noses. I'm so grateful I've managed to stay healthy even though I am exposed to legions of germs each day.

Don't ask me how, but one of my friends has talked me into training for a mini triathalon. It's the end of April. Yes, that is rather funny, isn't it? Darren says I can get new counters if I finish it. I don't have to do well, I just have to finish it. I've only been wanting counters for nine years now. I guess I've finally found a way to get them--by swimming, biking and running my way into them.

Only nine weeks until New York! Or maybe eight. The kids are busy earning all kinds of money to take to the Big Apple. They now get one ticket for every thirty minutes they read. Each ticket is worth 50 cents. The pile of tickets is growing daily. Darren and I are going to go broke paying the kids for their tickets. There has been much less TV watching and computer and video game playing this week. I like this a lot.

My sister in law, Kim, is having twins girls in June. Up until two weeks ago she thought she was having only one baby. Now she has 3 1/2 months til they're born and her life is in a whirlwind of trying to prepare for this. How do you ever prepare, though? Her children go from 3 girls and 1 boy to 5 girls and 1boy. Poor Josh. You gotta feel for the guy. That's a lot of hormones in one household.

I just found out that a couple of my earlier blogs got accepted for publication in a new literary journal called The Sigurd Journal. I guess it pays off to ramble on the compter every once in a while.

Happy Valentine's Day friends and family! Love to all!